where have YOU been?

i haven't been writing. between vacation, moving, a second job, relationship changes and a new project, i'm lucky i had time to live. but i am living, and living well. this new project, which i'll remain aloof about for now, though i've told most people i know, is an exciting endeavor that is unlikely to flounder, but i'll let you know.

the reason i'm writing now is to share a single fourth of july photo, of my adorable second cousin which i met for the first time on July 4, and to give a little cover-to-cover update.

that's michael.
so cute ... the rest of my day was spent lying in bed cause i was sick and then, later, standing in the rain at hall & oates concert on the parkway, hoping the fireworks weren't cancelled. they weren't, though we didn't know that since we were told to leave the parkway due to inclement weather and were underground at suburban station when the bursts went off. thanks philly.

anyways. over vacation i dove into wicked, mainly because i have been wanting to and the desire was timely since the musical is running at the keswick until sept. 9, and i wanted to read it before i go see the musical, which i hope to do.

unfortunately, wicked fit the bill when it comes to books that i was told are amazing, then failed to meet my expectations. the book, while interesting and semi-insightful, was easy to put down. had i not been on vacation with tons of time on my hands, it would have taken a long time to read. but in the five day vacation, i was able to finish the book, and though i found it lacking, it was an interesting twist on the tale. there were a few loopholes -- like how the witch never confronted the traveling quad of dorothy, lion, tinman and scarecrow on the trail, but i found the way she, as a witch and with her animals, developed. meh, it's worth reading, and i am still looking forward to the musical.

next i reread a wrinkle in time, which as a young girl was an enlightening and one of my favorite books. now, its cheesey, but i understand why the awkward i loved it as a child. it's for the outcast of the family, and that certainly fits me. while meg's heroic adventures no longer satisfy my current black-sheep feelings, they did when i was little and that's all that matters.

now, i'm reading a book by ian mcewan -- an author i've constantly flirted with. i can't tell you how many times i've picked up his books in borders, yet never bought one. it took borrowing one from jenn to get me to read it, a short one, and so far it's really interesting. a little too much about him and his writing ... i would rather have heard the story of his parent-in-laws rather than his encounters with them, but i'm not done yet, and it is interesting (and short!).

more to come ;)

and i'm back. great.

i miss the sand. i miss the surf. i learned to surf, in fact, while on vacation last week. i have to say that while there, i had no idea how difficult returning to the daily grind would be. especially when that daily grind is compounded by moving a year worth of apparent pack-ratting into boxes that will go to a new place. packing, even with a drink and loud music, offers less fun than i anticipated.

this day in ...

i've only given blood once, and though it took forever (despite my hyper persona apparently i have low blood pressure) i felt good about doing my duty. i haven't donated again since that spring day. i tried twice but had a cold and wasn't allowed in college, but it's an important thing to do, and a medical miracle that started back in 1667, when Dr. Jean Baptiste administered the first human blood transfusion by transfusing the blood of a sheep to a 15-year-old boy. um, gross, but good too, i guess, because that has saved millions, if not more, of lives.

on june 16, preston and steve are hosting a blood drive with the goal of raising 1,000 pints of blood. actually, all the appointments are filled, but keep checking online and you bloody well head down to the plymouth meeting mall (make an appointment first though) if you can, plus you might even get to win def leppard tickets. if you do, take me!

pedaling through the weekend...

this takes some serious dedication.

ok, so i slacked this weekend. saturday i spent the day being athletic, which if you know me is a rarity for this fat arse. i played tennis and rode my bike and (after filling my tires and realizing i wasn't as out of shape as i originally perceived) i have discovered, or maybe rediscovered, a love for bike riding. i hope i stick with it.

speaking of cycling (as the real cyclists call it), i went to the manayunk bike race on sunday and enjoyed the glimpse i received of the riders, and was disappointed that my friends choose to drink and barbeque away from the race course rather than near it. ah, such is life. i at least saw part of it and snapped a few shots. i'll share one later. but i got a nice tan, a nice buzz, and was sober in time to get myself home after a delicious cigar.

if you haven't yet this week, get out and enjoy the weather. it's delectable.

cover-to-cover update

finished black swan green, and now i say things like beaut and snogging because the british have awesome word choice. good coming of age book, though, and the language is entertaining.

i finished the stranger between yesterday and today too. it's apparently a classic, one of those books you are supposed to read. it's short, and definitely a fast read, but i don't feel like i gained much from it. maybe at another time in my life i would. but at least it brings me closer to 25 at the moment.

this day in ...

the christmas carol is classic, tale of two tortures students, oliver twist makes you cry and celebrate, and great expectations holds a haunting story.

read some dickens today, cause this day in 1870, he passed away at the age of 58.


(photo: orwell.ru)

remember when?

sitting in my little sister's graduation, i felt three distinct emotions. the most dominating one was pride, cause she's awesome and graduated. the second was ... i want to say disgust but that's too close minded of me. let's just say, the out-going school president spoke about how Jesus was leading his way and so, considering my beliefs differ in the reliabilty of Jesus' lead, i was worried for him.

look for "marissa pazulski" >>>

and, finally, i felt a rush of nostalgia. not for being in high school, cause lord knows i disliked my high school and, yes, most of the years i spent there, but i realized and missed the complete and utter freedom those kids have. i'm reaching a point in my life where i'm not sure i want to be a writer. i'm realizing that going to school means two things -- i will be tied to philly for at least two years and i'm stacking up more bills -- and i'm considering not going anymore, except then i can't teach, something i definitely want to do. i want to be a leader, but at the moment, i have little in my power to lead. i'm just wondering what to do next, and realizing that my options are much more limited than those high schoolers'.

<<< marissa with the balloons i got her

when i graduate both high school and college, i listened to the speeches of fellow students, adults, administration, parents and felt the cliches go in one ear and out another. not so much the "these are the best years of your life" phrases, because i still don't believe that. if the best years are past when you are 22, well then why do we bother? no, i listened to the adults strung words and phrases like "future is yours," "you can do whatever," "goals," "life." all those speeches were filled with what i thought they were supposed to say. and i thought them sharing that information with me was simply that -- expected encouragement.

but as i sat on the rock hard bleachers yesterday, watching the heads of those students -- some obviously excited for the future, others just wanting the stupid ceremony to be over -- i realized that all those years, the adults meant it. if i said the same words to a young adult or kid now, i would mean it. if i told marissa she could be anything she wanted, i would mean it. she has complete freedom. she might not have the resources, but she could work hard to find them or pass up on opportunities she doesn't deem worth the effort. either way, she's got the freedom to choose.

i studied for years to be a writer. i know i'm not exactly stuck. but i look back at my high school years and realize, hey, i was really good at math. better than english as a matter of fact. could i have been an engineer if my math teacher had as inspiring as my english teacher? and the answer is, quite honestly, maybe. what if mrs. ross cared about her students (she didn't so much) as adamson, my english teacher, did? what then?

what else do you think you could have been?