jealous bean

i have a great job. i enjoy writing, reporting, photographing, editing. but sometimes, as i walk down the Avenue past a PennDot crew, or interview a teacher or shop owner or especially a non-profit director, i feel a pang of jealousy.

in when harry met sally (an awesome movie, but i swear the frequent references are not purposeful. just a coincidence) ... harry tells sally she wants to be a journalist so she can report on others living life instead of living life for herself. sometimes, that's how i feel. i feel like i'm talking to people who are making a difference, making life interesting, (making money, haha), and that i'm just watching and conveying. cause i am.
(photo: juniperimages.com)

now at the cafe, though it's just pouring coffee and talking to the people coming in to get coffee, i can be part of that life. i can plan events and provide people not only food and drink, but possibly a smile, a conversation, an entertaining evening.

(photo: www.hyperbio.net)

i know that's a sickeningly optimistic outlook to a second job that requires some 6 am work days. i was almost sick myself writing all this. but it's very true. i'm looking forward to having a job with slightly stricter hours, mundane interaction and a line of customers winding around the counter and out the door. i naively think the experience will be like the shop and camaraderie in chocolat, though i think that's going beyond optimism and into fantasy.

but you never know.